


breathe in, breathe out

by reddieforlove



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/M, Gate? What gate?, I also switch POVs more often than the average writer, I play fast and loose with continuity, Reunion, and I think I set a record for the amount of personal pronouns used in 2900 words, and there is very little dialogue, but at least I did my research right?, does it look like I know what I'm doing, fun fact this takes place during the 1988 olympics, okay it's not a fun fact, post s1 au, sorry there was an issue posting this the first time
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-12-27
Updated: 2018-01-06
Packaged: 2019-02-22 18:30:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 6,065
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13172736
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/reddieforlove/pseuds/reddieforlove
Summary: When Eleven overhears the bad men not-so-subtly threatening Mike, she runs as far and fast as she can to protect him. Years pass and she never quite believes that the threat is gone. But she's tired of running. She just wants to go home. She just wants Mike.





	1. February 27, 1988

**Author's Note:**

> This is just a super angsty idea that would not let me live. I wrote it all out and decided it wasn't complete shit, so here it is posted alongside hundreds of fics that are so much better. Oh well, maybe a few people will like it.
> 
> This is canon compliant as far as timeline, so they're about 17-ish here.
> 
> Title: Light a Fire by Rachel Taylor (seriously listen to this song it's such a fucking good Mileven song - I listened to it while writing and it almost made me cry)

It was strange, how different it looked. She could see the bare bones of the town that she knew before. The school seemed the same. Main Street had new stores and different cars but she could still close her eyes and remember holding onto Mike’s jacket as he rode up the hill, huffing with exertion yet never once complaining that she was making it hard to ride the bike. He just kept going, telling her to hold on every time her grip loosened even a little bit. They had received a few curious looks then but no one glanced twice at her now.

She continued on, retracing the path to the houses like it had been only yesterday that she ran all over Hawkins with four boys who only wanted to find their friend. She knew that it was possible that they’d forgotten her. That was the point of it all. Disappearing. That's how she protected them. That’s how she protected  _him_. But things had changed. The lab closed. The news was several years old but she didn’t quite believe it then. She still wasn’t sure that it was true but there was a weariness deep in her bones that she couldn’t shake.

She was tired.

The power lines came into view as she shuffled along on aching feet, her head pounding with every step. Somehow the sight of them sparked a new energy in her and she was standing a little straighter, her chin a little higher and her steps a little quicker. Soon enough, she was standing right beneath the thick cables watching as they swayed in the cool breeze above her. Closing her eyes, she remembered what it had been like to pass over that same spot that first night. Freezing and huddled in nothing but a t-shirt and Mike Wheeler’s jacket, more lost than she’d ever been up to that point.

She had run away that night. It was terrifying. She had never done something like that before but the monster and the gate scared her. Part of her wished that running wasn’t so familiar now, like an old friend that would always be there when she needed it. The frozen grass crunched beneath her worn sneakers as she made her way towards the familiar door. The one that Mike used time and time again to bring her into the warm space that was all his. The paint was chipped off even more and she could see that the lock was different. All that she had to do was reach out and turn the knob. If it was locked, she could easily undo it. Getting in would be no problem. It’s what would happen once she stepped through the door that she had to worry about. She couldn’t shake the fear of what his reaction would be.

Pressing her palm to the cold door, she closed her eyes and took a shaking breath. It was cold out but that wasn’t why she was trembling. Everything was overwhelming. Her anticipation and fear and hope and sadness were all crushing in on her as she touched the wooden barrier between her and the one thing that kept her going all these years. In her mind, there was a divide between the people who affected her life the most. There was Papa, a man that controlled, that took and took and took and gave so little. Then there was Mike, Lucas, and Dustin, who gave and gave and gave, to her and to others.

They would have given their lives to find Will. They tried to stand between her and the bad men. They told Papa that he had to kill them before they would let him get to her. She didn’t know then what she knew now. The concept of youth didn’t mean much to her but knowing now that they were so young, that they’d barely lived before offering up their lives to protect her, it hurt her deeply and yet it gave her the strength that she needed to kill the demogorgon and keep herself alive all these years. But the fear that she wasn’t worthy of any of it, that Mike’s heart was too good for her, kept her from opening the door. She had faced monsters, both human and inhuman, but she didn’t know that she’d ever been quite this terrified in her life.

* * *

He was tired.

He could feel his mother’s eyes on him as he clambered down the steps and made his way towards the basement. She was watching figure skating on the television with Holly. He mumbled something about going to study. If she didn’t believe him, she didn’t say anything. They were all used to him retreating to the basement, even after the D&D sessions became few and far between. His father had stopped grumbling about it two years ago. His mother always looked like she wanted to talk to him but didn’t know how. Sometimes he found it within him to appreciate that she tried.

He usually found himself sitting on the couch, music playing low on the stereo while he stared at the corner where the blanket fort once stood or held his old radio. Lucas, Dustin, and Will sometimes visited and sat with him, knowing that it was all that they could do when he got like this. Even Max came every once in a while, always unfazed when he snapped at her. They had moved passed their animosity by the time they entered high school but sometimes it was just a little bit too much to hear her voice and remember a time when a different girl sat cross-legged on the floor of his basement.

Sometimes, when there was no one else around, he had to convince himself that it wasn’t a dream. That  _she_ hadn’t been a dream. He had no idea that someone he knew for so short a time could affect him so deeply. He could still hear her voice when everything was quiet, breathing out his name in a way that no one ever had, like he was more than he ever was. As much as he wanted to get away from Hawkins and the tiny life that it had to offer, he couldn’t help but fear the day her voice faded from his mind.

One day he would have to move on.

That’s what Nancy told him. She knew that he lied that night at the school when he said that he didn’t like Eleven. As soon as she walked in the house and saw the tears on his cheeks and heard that El disappeared, his sister told him that she understood and she held him. She was the only one in his family who knew what he lost. She became more than he expected her to be, even after she left for college. She thrived there, pursuing a degree in journalism after she helped release the story that caused the Hawkins lab to close. Nancy told him that if he just left, it would get easier. He didn’t want it to get easier. Easier meant forgetting. He wasn’t ready to forget.

There was a noise from the door to his left. He didn’t pay it any mind. There was a neighborhood dog that came sniffing around every few days. It was friendly enough but he didn’t feel like stepping out in the cold just to pet it. But then the thump became a knock, then another. He didn’t think anyone was coming over. The others usually used the front door. They all knew that the back door was hard to open nowadays. It always stuck and the lock was hard to undo. He stared at the door, wondering if he was hearing things. Then there was another knock.

Pushing himself up from the couch, he crossed the room to open it. He froze in place when he pressed his hand to the door and his heart strangely skipped a beat before slowly picking up pace. There was a strange charge in the air that caused him to breathe just a little bit quicker. He wanted desperately to open the door and he didn’t even really know why. He finally forced himself to move, his trembling fingers undoing the lock. The door stuck, as always, and he had to really push and pull for it to finally swing open with a creak of protest from the rarely used hinges.

* * *

He was there.

He was taller than she expected. Her memories didn’t do him justice. There was a little more curl in his hair than before and his dark eyes held emotions she’d hadn’t seen in them until now. The softness roundness of his face was gone, replaced by high cheekbones and a sharp jawline. The freckles dusted across his nose and cheeks were familiar, as well as the way his lips parted in surprise. It was a look much like the one that he gave her in the woods when they first saw one another. Then he was taking a step back, swallowing hard and closing his eyes. She could have shattered at the pain she saw on his face. It was all because of her. He hadn’t forgotten her. This was worse, if possible.

Did he hate her after all?

* * *

She was there.

It was easy to see the girl he remembered in the wide eyes and the tense way in which she held herself. Her dark hair was swept out of her face in a ponytail but he could see her long, thick curls as they were ruffled by the wind. There were dark circles beneath her eyes and she seemed too thin. The jacket that she wore practically swallowed her up. He didn’t know how, but she looked exactly as he would have expected her to. His heart swelled and his throat grew tight. She was perfect. Too perfect. He took a step back, cursing himself all the while. It wasn’t the first time he’d imagined her showing up. He could all too easily think back to the night that she disappeared and when he thought he saw her in the window. His mind was good at playing tricks on him. She wasn’t there. Not really.

But why did it feel so real?

* * *

It was tempting to run.

She had to force herself to remain still even though every fiber of her being screamed at her to leave. If there was even the slightest possibility that he didn’t hate her, she had to stay. His hand was gripping the door and his jaw was clenched. As his eyes started to open, she braced herself for the hatred that she might see there. Instead he looked confused, as if he didn’t quite expect her to be there. His hand dropped from the door and he took a deep breath as though he was about to speak. But nothing came out.

Somehow she managed to take a step forward, then another. He didn’t move as she walked through the door but he didn’t push her back outside either. Maybe that was a good sign. Her hands were itching to touch him but she kept them at her sides, not wanting to cross a line they weren’t ready for. They were standing close now and she had to tilt her head back to peer into his eyes. He still looked like he was in pain and she couldn’t understand it. All that she wanted was for something to break between them. If he wanted to yell at her, she wished that he would just yell. It was the silence that she couldn’t handle.

Why wouldn’t he speak?

* * *

He wanted to touch her.

She was closer than before. There hadn’t been so much difference in their heights when they were younger. While he gained inches like crazy, she was about the same height as Nancy. She smelled like soap and rain and the woods. He could see a small scar just near her hairline that hadn’t been there before. He wanted to trace it and to ask what happened. But he couldn’t quite get his voice to work.

He hated that there were tears in her eyes. It made him think of how she looked back at him before killing the demogorgon, her eyes swimming with tears and her voice breaking as she told him goodbye. When the cold air started to invade the room, she shivered but didn’t break her gaze from him, her hands twitching as if she wanted to touch him as much as he did her. But then she opened her mouth and he had to wonder if maybe this was real after all.

He held his breath as she spoke.

* * *

“Mike.”

She hadn’t spoken much in a long time. Her voice was hoarse and scratchy. She nearly winced at the sound of it. But she was so focused on him that when his eyes widened and he exhaled sharply, she could only stand frozen still and watch and wait.

“Eleven?” he finally said, a tangle of emotions in his voice.

A tear finally fell from her eye, tracing a slow path down her cheek as she fought back a hitching sob at the sound of his voice, different from before but familiar all the same. She wanted nothing more than to shelter herself in his arms and never move. But she didn’t know yet, whether or not he hated her. She had to know.

“I’m sorry.”

She didn’t whether she was apologizing for leaving or for coming back.

* * *

He didn’t know why she was apologizing.

Was she a trick of his mind after all? She looked so real. The sound of his name in her voice was familiar, bringing a part of him to life that he didn’t even know existed anymore. All that he wanted to do was gather her in his arms and press his face into her hair. He would stay there for hours if it meant that she was real.

“Please tell me you’re really here,” he whispered, unable to speak any louder if he tried.

The furrow of her brow was so like her that his heart ached at the sight of it.

* * *

He didn’t think she was real.

Was that the reason behind the pain on his face? Because he thought she was a hallucination? She slowly lifted her hand, reaching up to brush her fingers over his cheek. He jolted a little and she remembered that her skin must have been cold. But then something sparked in his eyes and she knew that he was starting to believe that she was there. LIfting her other hand, she pressed it over his heart to feel the steady, if not quick, rhythm of it beneath her palm. She desperately hoped that it was enough. It had to be enough. There was no turning back for her now. No more running.

“I’m tired, Mike,” she said, her weariness showing in her voice as she looked up into his eyes. “I don’t want to run anymore.”

* * *

She was real.

She had to be. Her fingertips were cold on his cheek and her hand was pressed over his racing heart. She was really there, speaking to him. Eleven, warm and solid in his arms. He brought his hand up to her back, gripping her jacket in his fist. She was shaking in his arms. He might have been shaking too. It was apparent that he should close the door but he couldn’t bring himself to break away from her even for a single moment.

“I want to come home,” she said, looking tired and hopeful and desperate.

He couldn’t wait for another moment. Every single atom in his body seemed to shift back into place when he gathered her in his arms, practically lifting her off her feet as he held her close.

* * *

Everything aligned perfectly when he held her.

She could barely hold back a sob as she tucked her face into his shoulder, her arms tight around him. He smelled like everything she remembered. Mike and warmth went hand in hand in her memories and she was glad to know that reality was even better. She didn’t dare to let go. Maybe she was a little bit afraid that this wasn’t real too. All that she could do to convince herself was to hold on. To hold on and never let go.

“You’re home,” he breathed into her hair.

* * *

She was perfect.

He couldn’t believe that she was there. There were so many questions on the tip of his tongue but he swallowed them down, knowing that it could wait. Right now all that he wanted to do was hold her. She fit so well in his arms that he hated the years that had kept them apart. He thought that he’d exhausted his anger towards the bad men at the lab but now that he knew she’d been out there running from them all this time, it increased tenfold. He could have happily burned the entire place down in that moment, closed or not. But instead he just held her closer, knowing that she was worth more to him than anything else right now.

“You’re home,” he said again, trying to convince himself as much as her.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is pretty angsty still. I really wanted to show that it's not perfectly easy for them to come back together after a few years of being separated. It'll definitely be worth it because I like to write happy endings but it may be rough for a few chapters. I'm sorry if the characterization is off. I wrote characters here that I haven't actually written before.
> 
> [This](http://www.barons-auctions.com/content/uploaded/galleries/folder_1344/2_1_Range%20Rover%20beige-2.jpg) is something like what I imagine Mike to be driving.
> 
> .

Eleven barely heard Mike telling his mother that he was going to Will’s house to study for a test as she slipped out of the basement door before shutting it quietly behind her. The coolness of the air gave her a chance to catch her breath as she tilted her head back to look up at the overcast sky. It had taken a long time for them to separate from their embrace. Mike still looked at her as if he couldn’t quite believe that she was there, not that she really blamed him. It was hard to believe, after the sheer amount of days that they’d been separated, that she was really back.

It didn’t take long to hear the front door closing loudly and the sound of footsteps crunching through the frozen grass. Dropping her eyes, she turned her head and caught sight of Mike, wrapped in a jacket with his hands shoved in the pockets and a backpack slung over his shoulder, blinking a few times as if he was still certain that she was a trick of the light that would disappear at any moment. Eleven walked to him slowly, assuming that his mother must have let him go without much fight. Her eyes scanned the area around them on instinct but they were still alone.

“No bike?” she asked.

The slightest smile tugged at Mike’s lips and, though it wasn’t much, it was at least something and she was happy to see it.

“No bike,” he said, tilting his head in a motion that told her to walk with him.

Though his legs were longer than hers, he slowed his strides so that she could keep up.

“I’m sorry we can’t stay here. I just want you to be comfortable and my mom would flip if she found out I snuck you in through the basement. I didn’t want to have to hide you down there… again… so I thought it would be a good idea to go to Will’s house since Mrs. Byers knows about you and-”

“Mike,” she cut him off and his eyes flitted over to her as they approached the street. “I understand.”

A relieved look came over his face and he smiled just a little more than before, nodding his head.

“Cool,” he said, mirroring a conversation they had what felt like ages ago.

“Cool,” she echoed, a smile pulling at her own lips.

Mike’s cheeks colored a little as he looked away, leading her to a car sitting on the side of the road. It was larger than any of the other cars, off-white and dusty in a way that suggested it was well-used. One peek in through the window showed that it was quintessentially Mike, with a sweater lying in the backseat, some books scattered across the floorboard, a few receipts scattered here and there, and a feeling of warmth and comfort and _home_ when she slid into the passenger seat and closed the door behind her.

“It’s used,” Mike said once he settled into the driver’s seat and turned the car on. “It runs good, though. I saved up money for three years to buy it. I’m pretty sure it was brought here illegally back in ‘80 but Land Rover started selling their cars in America last year so hopefully I won’t get arrested anytime soon. Lucas and Dustin made fun of me when I stopped going to the arcade and the movies to work instead but I have a car and they don’t so…”

He trailed off, watching Eleven as if he was waiting for her reaction. She reached out, running a hand over the dashboard and fiddling with the radio dials for a second before looking up at him.

“I like it,” she decided.

He looked proud, turning to face forward as he pulled away from the curb. The drive was mostly quiet other than the low hum of the radio and the car’s rumbling engine. They passed the school and she swallowed hard as she watched it go by. Judging by the way Mike’s hands tightened around the steering wheel, he was remembering too.

_“Eleven stop!”_

She had sent him flying, knowing that he would follow her straight down the jaws of the demogorgon if she didn’t keep him back. Mike was loyal and brave in ways that she didn’t think he understood then. She wondered if he knew now.

_“Goodbye Mike.”_

Eleven clenched her hands into fists in her lap.

“You went there, didn’t you?” he said as he drove, his voice quiet. “The Upside Down?”

She didn’t answer right away, keeping her head turned away from him, her eyes watching the town passing by. The car’s heater was kicking in, warming her cold hands. Then she tilted her head towards him and spoke just as quietly.

“Yes.”

Mike flinched as if he’d been hit and she watched his eyes close for a moment as he paused at a red light.

“How long?”

She didn’t want to answer. It would be painful for both of them. But she felt like he deserved to know. Even after all this time she wouldn’t lie to him.

“I don’t know for sure,” she said, looking straight out of the windshield. “I found an opening when I woke up and climbed out. Everyone was gone.”

“Where did you go?” Mike said.

“Your house.”

He didn’t say anything for a long time, taking a road towards the edge of Hawkins, in the direction of Will’s house. In the direction of the lab. Eleven tried not to focus on how her skin crawled at the thought of it.

“I saw you,” Mike finally said, his words barely. “I thought I…”

He looked over at her, his dark eyes begging for her to deny it, to tell him that he was wrong.

“El?”

She bit down on her lower lip, keeping her gaze on the road. Apparently that was all the confirmation he needed.

“You should have waited, hidden until they left or something. I would’ve-“

“Would’ve what?” she demanded, looking over at him. “Gotten yourself killed? Your family? Dustin and Lucas too? Do you really think that I was going to let that happen to any of you?”

Mike looked surprised at the outpour of words, glancing between her and the road and back several times. The broader use of language wasn’t the only thing that she learned when they were apart.

_Channel your anger, Jane. Use it, don’t hide from it._

“Do you think that it made me happy to run? That I wanted to leave you?” El questioned as Kali’s words lingered in her head and her heart beat quickly in her chest.

The coins in the center console rattled as Mike’s car swerved a little on the road, beyond his control and perfectly within her own. A passing car honked at them but they didn’t pay it any mind.

“El-”

“I heard the bad men. You wouldn’t have been safe with me around,” she said, looking away from him as she slouched down in the seat, her arms wrapped around her middle. “I had to leave.”

“The lab closed three years ago,” Mike said, his voice quiet again.

She shrugged, knowing that she should have expected this. It was never going to be easy. Mike had every right to be upset and her guilt only ever made her feel defensive.

“I didn’t know if it was real,” she told him, part of her wishing that she hadn’t said anything.

Maybe sometimes it was better to lie. Mike didn’t say anything else and neither did she as she wiped a stray tear from her cheek. The rest of the drive to the Byers house was filled with the now uncomfortable hum of the radio and the world around them.

* * *

The first thing that Joyce Byers did when she saw them on the porch was to pull Eleven into a hug, stroking her hair soothingly.

“Hi sweetheart,” she whispered, so comforting and warm that all Eleven wanted to do in that moment was collapse into her and cry.

But then Joyce was pulling away, squeezing Mike’s shoulder with a smile on her face before stepping aside so that they could walk inside. They kicked off their shoes by the door and El was in the middle of stripping off her jacket when a voice came from the hall.

“Mike?”

Her head snapped up and she watched with uncertainty as a familiar face walked through the door. They had only ever spoken once, and it was brief and terrifying, but she would know Will Byers anywhere. He was taller and healthier, with color in his cheeks and a brightness in his eyes that hadn’t been there the one time she saw him face-to-face. His eyes were trained on her, even though he said Mike’s name, and they filled with realization after just a few moments of stunned silence.

“Hi,” Will said, taking a step further into the room.

“Hello,” she said, unsure of how to talk to him as she tucked her hair behind her ear.

Will’s eyes flitted to Mike and back.

“Wow,” he breathed out.

Eleven didn’t look at Mike. There was still tension between them after the conversation in the car.

“How did this happen?” Will asked.

They both shifted uncomfortably and Joyce picked up on it before her son, wrapping a comforting arm around El’s shoulder.

“Later,” she said, much to Eleven’s relief. “C’mon, you can get cleaned up in my bathroom. I’m sure I can scrounge up some clothes for you.”

“I brought some.”

All eyes fell to Mike as soon as he blurted out the words, dropping his backpack to the floor before squatting down to unzip it. Eleven watched with an aching chest as he dug out a pair of soft-looking black sweatpants and a dark grey sweater.

“Mike, maybe she would be more comfortable in-”

“It’s okay,” she cut Joyce off as Mike straightened up with an uncertain look.

Stepping forward, Eleven pulled the clothes out of his hands and pressed them to her chest, looking up at him from beneath her lashes with uncertainty. He met her gaze after a moment, looking as wary as she felt. But then he blinked and nodded at her, reassurance in his eyes. She felt a little bit of relief, stepping away to follow Joyce down the hallway. Over her shoulder, she could hear Will start talking to Mike quietly and the sound of him responding.

“I’ll set your clothes to wash and then run out to a few shops in town while you’re cleaning up and see if I can find you some clothes of your own,” Joyce said once she showed El how to work the shower and handed over a couple of towels.

“You don’t have to,” Eleven said, frowning at her.

The older woman gave her a smile, reaching out to press a hand over her cheek.

“You helped me get my boy back,” Joyce said quietly, her eyes misting over a little. “It’s the least I can do.”

Eleven felt too tired to fight her much more, nodding once while vowing to find a way to repay her. It didn’t take long for her to scrub away the grime on her skin and in her hair once she was underneath the hot water but she stayed there for a few minutes longer than necessary, giving herself time to think and breathe. By the time she stepped out and wrapped up in a towel, the house was dead quiet. Eleven couldn’t even hear the sound of Mike and Will talking. She dried off quickly and dressed in the borrowed clothes that were too large on her. She rolled up the pants to her ankles but let the sleeves hang down around her hands, feeling surrounded by warmth and _Mike._

With her skin flushed from the hot shower and all of the tangles combed out of her damp hair, Eleven drifted out into the hallway and heard the low murmurs coming from the living room once more. She moved slowly, gripping the ends of the sleeves in her hands as her bare feet carried her silently down the hallway. Mike and Will were on the couch, the former splayed out with closed eyes and his hand tugging at his hair while the latter was facing him with concern on his face. Will was the first to notice her, his eyes lifted and his lips twitching into a small smile. Then he was standing up and Mike’s eyes snapped open at the shift of the couch, looking to Will first before following his gaze to where she stood.

“I’m gonna go call Jonathan,” Will said, walking towards her. “He and Nancy will be really happy.”

He paused next to her, bringing his hand up to take hers in a comforting way that was so like his mother.

“I’m glad you’re here,” he whispered.

Eleven smiled at him, feeling like she could really like Will if she got to know him. _When_ she got to know him.

“Thank you,” she said softly, squeezing his hand in return.

There was more that she wanted to say to Will. That she was so happy that he was okay after everything. The aftermath of the Upside Down, the hospital visits, the weekly appointments at the lab up until the residual symptoms disappeared. But admitting to all of that would mean letting Mike know that she’d listened to every single one of his radio calls and she wasn’t ready to do that yet. Will let go of her hand and nodded at Mike before walking down the hall, closing his door to give them some privacy. Eleven turned her eyes to Mike again, reaching up to run her hand through her hair.

It was a habit ever since it had grown out. Years and years of not having hair still sometimes made it feel strange to have so much, all thick and curly and unmanageable on some days. His eyes followed the movement before meeting her’s, a hint of longing in their dark depths. She couldn’t help but wonder what he thought of her now, whether he still saw her as pretty. But there was more to worry about than that and Eleven let her feet carry her to the couch as she took the spot that Will left empty, curling her legs beneath her and wrapping her arms around her middle. There was a distance between them that she felt was necessary at the moment. Mike was sitting rigidly, watching her every move as if he was still afraid she’d disappear at any second.

“I’m not going anywhere,” she said.

Mike looked stunned as if he didn’t expect to be so easily read.

“Can’t blame me for worrying,” he said..

No, she really couldn’t.

“I’m sorry,” Eleven said, looking down at her lap because look into his eyes was harder than it had ever been. “For the car. I shouldn’t have been so angry.”

“You’re allowed to be angry, El,” Mike said.

It sounded like something Kali would say, each time Eleven second-guessed tapping into that anger to strengthen herself.

“But not at you,” she told him, shaking her head. “I didn’t come back because I thought that the lab might have been trying to trap me. _They_ kept me away. Not you.”

Not to mention that Kali was absolutely convinced of it when they got the news. Now that she knew it was true, Eleven hated that she hadn’t come back then. But she didn’t blame Kali for her skepticism. The bad men had taken so much from the both of them.

“That makes sense,” Mike said.

Eleven finally lifted her eyes and found understanding reflected back at her.

“I hated it. Every second of every day,” she said.

“One thousand five hundred and sixty-eight,” Mike said, his words settling heavily between them. “That’s how many days. I kept track. I talked to you.”

“I know,” she said before she could stop herself.

His eyes widened a little bit.

“What?”

Guilt rose in her chest again and all that she could hope was that he didn’t get angry.

“I heard you,” she whispered, remembering how his voice would echo around her every time she visited the void. “You kept me going, Mike. I listened every night.”

His brow furrowed a little and his eyes darted all over her face and she feared the worst. Then Mike’s arms were around her and he was pulling her sideways into his lap, burying his face in her drying hair as she gasped in surprise, then slowly wrapped her arm around his shoulders.

“You heard,” he breathed out.

Eleven nodded, lifting her trembling hand to brush his hair away from his face. It was impossible to stop, though, and she found herself combing through the dark strands that she’d never had the chance to touch before. It was almost mesmerizing and Mike didn’t do anything to stop her, holding her close to his chest. They stayed like that for a long time without moving until he finally pulled away to look at her. But his eyes didn’t meet hers, instead lingering on her hair that he hesitantly reached up to touch, letting a lock of it curl around his finger.

“I like it,” he said.

Her cheeks warmed a little and she ducked her head with a shy smile. Mike didn’t let her stay that way for long, lifting her chin gently to look into her eyes.

“You’re beautiful, El,” Mike said.

Her eyes widened a little bit and her smile grew. Eleven was aware of her position still on his lap and couldn’t help but wonder when Mike stopped being as awkward as he was before, when any proximity to her would make him blush or talk nervously. Now he seemed relaxed, as if having her so close brought him peace. When she asked him about it in a blunt manner, his cheeks did flush a little bit but he answered anyway.

“It’s different now,” he said, brushing his fingers over her cheek. “I don’t want to lose you again.”

“You won’t,” Eleven said quickly. “I promise.”

He looked like he wanted to believe her but there was still something standing between them.

“Will you tell me about what happened? All of it?” he asked.

She stiffened a little, her hand gripping his shirt tightly.

“It’s fine if you don’t want to,” Mike was quick to say. “I’m not gonna make you.”

Eleven shook her head.

“I want to,” she said, meeting his gaze. “But it’s a lot and it’s not… not pretty.”

“That’s okay,” he said, rubbing his hand up and down her arm.

“Are you sure?” she asked.

He nodded, looking pretty certain. With a deep breath, she closed her eyes for a moment and brought herself back to the day she killed the demogorgon and found her way out of the Upside Down. There was no other place to start. He had to know everything.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please let me know what you think!
> 
> tumblr - reddieforlove


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